Are you single? Would you love to be in a relationship? Dr. John Demartini explains how we can work through the wounds of the past and clear the way to meet the right person.

In an interview Sharon Atkins asks Dr. John Demartini about women and relationships.

There are a lot of single people that want to be in a loving relationship.  What are they doing wrong and why have they not met the right person yet?

Dr. Demartini– The answer to the question why have I not met the right person yet is going to sound shocking but that person is protecting themselves. What I have found is when I ask people; because I have women come up to me in the Breakthrough Experience and my other programmes and they say I want to find my soul mate. Well, I say make a list of everything you are looking for in a soul mate. I get them to make a list and they will write anywhere from 20- 80 things on that list, and then I say, now write down their opposites because you are never going to get a trait without the opposite trait in any man.

If they are generous they are also stingy, if they are kind they are also cruel, there is always a double sided arrangement because nobody is one-sided and then you ask who in your life is providing those traits and to their surprise they found out that there is not one trait that is not being supplied by some male or somebody in their life who is playing out that role. But what is happening is that they have dispersed it into many people providing those traits that they are looking for, to protect them from the wounds that they have had in the past with one man.

So as long as they have a wound in the past or a series of wounds, they are going to protect themselves from those wounds and disperse what they are looking for in a variety of people so that they have the freedom to not be told what to do, not have to slave over somebody, not have to minimize themselves, not have to sacrifice things, not have to be restrained, not have to be doing something they don’t want to do.

They have unconsciously created a mechanism to protect themselves from wounds of the past and so they say they want a man but deep inside they have an unconscious motive to protect themselves from wounds. So unless they clear those wounds and find out how every one of those issues they have had in past relationships have served them they will not find the ‘right’ person and have a fulfilling relationship.

I see people; once we cleared those wounds attract a magnificent relationship into their lives within two to three weeks. I have seen it over and over again once they clear out wounds.

There is a book that I have called “The Heart of Love” that goes through this process and helps the person dissolve all the conflicts and the wounds and the losses and the grieving.

For more information on Dr. Demartini’s work and seminars visit the Demartini Website.

Dr. John Demartini is a human behavioural specialist, educator, author and founder of the Demartini Institute, a private research and education institute with a focus on empowering individuals and organizations and transforming micro and macro social dynamics.